It has been an incredible summer. My girls and I were blessed with the gift of each other’s company each and every day. As a family we camped every second weekend. We embraced our beautiful friend who moved in and became a part of our family dynamic for the summer. We took road-trips, spent days and nights with friends in outside and in. We spent days doing nothing at all. Our hair is a bit lighter, our skin is a bit darker and our hearts are definitely bigger. My children have told us time and time again that this is the best summer they have ever had. What is really amazing about that statement is that this is also the summer they learned that their dad and I are seeking a divorce. I am proud of the path we have bravely set foot on , because we have chosen to walk it as a family who loves each other. It is weird, but it is working because it is authentic.
I have finally grown into the person I always wanted to be. I am comfortable in my own skin because I do my best to honour it as the temple of my Spirit. I don’t need others to like me or agree with me (in fact, I often love it when they don’t), because I recognize that, if I am living honestly, the right people will always be in my life. My friends know that “what you see is what you get” and my family is learning that it is okay to be afraid. It is okay to be raw and open to the world when you entrust yourself to the comfort of God’s loving embrace.
My divorce is not about hate, greed, or mistrust. We are so lucky that we haven’t waited until our relationship is torn apart by anger and fear. My children’s father is a wonderful person, the best father I know, and my family forever. I love him to the moon and back. Our marriage was full of love, which is why it lasted as long as it did. I have said that if our love has survived our marriage then it must be real. When we were both able to admit that we were unhappy and lonely with each other, despite the hours of conversations, therapy and prayer, we could bravely admit that we could be all the things we already were to each other — without being married.
I say “bravely” because I think that courage means being deeply afraid, but doing what you know is right despite your fear. We know our lives will change, but we also know that not all change is bad. We are both filled with anticipation and wonder about our future, but at the end of the day we have hope. Hope comes in living life authentically in a way that celebrates the present moment. It is not about living in the future, but rather, it is a current state of being where life is full, exciting and alive. That is how we lived this summer and we are grateful that we did.
So, summer – fare thee well! I have loved every moment of you. The bliss, the challenge, the excitement and the joy. I have basked in your warmth and consumed your riches. I hope you keep in touch in the coming weeks ahead and may I especially remember the promise of you in winter’s darkness.
I register for my M.Div tomorrow and classes start next week. I had a fantastic job interview last night, I am enjoying my friends, my girls are happy, and my smile is etched on my face. Life is good today. Thanks for reading. May peace and love be with you wherever you travel. ~k