My lenten watch began yesterday. The practice of recognizing and then abstaining from a particular temptation is a huge part of this spiritual practice for me. Every time I find myself wanting and craving what I have given up I am reminded of my Christ. After His baptism and before He began His public ministry, Jesus was filled with the Holy Spirit and lead into wilderness to be tried through temptation.
When He was hungry from fasting he was tempted, “If you are the Son of God, turn this stone into bread.” Christ quotes the scriptures, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God.” Again, he was tempted to test God and challenged to throw himself to the ground but he refused to test God because of his absolute faith in his Father. When he was tempted with all the riches of the material world he was once again strong enough to turn his face to God and deny his tempter. “Worship the Lord your God and serve only him.”
I want to be more like Jesus. My sacrifice is minor compared to the temptations of Christ but it still helps me remember. Consuming no flesh but that of Christ has been my practice for the last 5 years. I practice this through Veganism. My greatest distraction from exploring my faith these last few months has been Facebook. I have chosen to step completely away from visiting Facebook (this blog is posted automatically). I use Facebook “for good” following religious and spiritual leaders, exploring inspirational material and exploring what other businesses like mine are doing but I recognize that it is still a distraction. One that was keeping me from spending time in stillness listening for the voice of God. When the voice is heard the pull to change is undeniable. Recently, I have been working really hard to hide from this voice for fear of what is next for me. It has felt easier to be comfortable floating easily in this life that I know. Change is scary.
I am hoping Jim Carrey might be right (see quote above) and maybe Heaven is on the other side of Facebook, cheese and maple lattes. Regardless, I am ready to feel and to listen…Dear God, Speak to me for I am listening. Thank you for the patience you have had with me. I know that you have told me many times and in many ways what it is you wish for me to do and be. I am almost ready. Please know that I am afraid. Remind me what it is to walk in the way of Christ, afraid but full of the faith to trust wholeheartedly in Your plan for me. Amen