I do not see the road ahead

Today I am sending a letter of request to the council of my church asking for a committee to be formed to help me discern my calling. This is one of the scariest things I have ever done. I am choosing to embrace the living code that was revealed to me recently. I want to share it publicly here:

“I surrender to the will of God and fearlessly trust the Divine to lead me.”

I am listening Lord. Continue to hold me close. I know that I am not the only one that is or has been on this journey. I am afraid. I am excited. I am ready to jump in. I am ready to let go. I want to trust you. I pray to you to help me feel the comfort of your love. I trust you. I am putting my foot on the road. Please lead me…

Thomas Merton said what I am feeling in words more eloquent then mine:

2011-07-02 08.09.02

“MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me. I cannot know for certain where it will end. Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so. But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you. And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road, though I may know nothing about it. Therefore I will trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.  Thomas Merton, “Thoughts in Solitude” © Abbey of Gethsemani”

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About kimcurlett

Mom, Minister, Yoga Teacher
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One Response to I do not see the road ahead

  1. Anne Hoganson says:

    Hi Kim,
    A friend posted a link on facebook to another of your blog entries, and the title of this entry caught my eye. Three years ago, I was filled with similar thoughts and feelings to those you describe above, and sent a letter to my church council requesting a discernment committee be formed. So I can fully relate to the space you’re in! It’s a wild ride this journey toward ministry. I’m now at the tail end of my second year of studies at AST, and can’t imagine being on any other path.

    God’s blessing on your own journey, and may you always be open to the movement of the Spirit as you go!

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